belladorra

Sunday, February 20, 2011 at 1:15 AM

it's been a very looong time since the last time I debating, I almost forgot how.

so, nothing called "a late start, didn't it?"

motion:
"true or false?"

I'm not trying to make a plea, because I already know that I don't have any right to pleading myself this moment. Not any. I am also not trying to look wise, or to look kind or even to look cooperative, coz even if I say 'yes', nobody will believe me. I can't believe it myself. I know, I'm not that gentle...

So why?

I just want you all too see it from my point of view, my paradigm that I believe not as humble as holly people that wrote their names in the history, but as humane as anyone of you. Yes, I'm not longing you to understand me, I just want you to do not misunderstand me. Sigh. Is it too much for a sinner to ask?

I never have any desire to grab it, seize it, or make it mine before. I can proof you that I never seduce it, tease it or stealing it or even trying to disturb your happiness. At least, I civilized. I had my own little world before, different in many way from your own world. Now, I still live my life in my own little verse, and I didn't have any plan to change in short moment. I do realize that we never crossed the border, never had any crash before and I assure you, I never will...

I also want to be selfish: I just want to be happy.

pictfromhere

Ah, in the end, it still hard to accept, rite?

Yeah, we are the victims of this awry condition. And I do take a part as the actors of the case. I didn't seek of forgiveness, I was just seeking self mercy and self serenity. And, I assure you, this is the first time and the only time, I'll talk about this. I rest my case...

Ah, and it's also the only time that I don't give a damn of people adjudication.

Jogjakarta, Saturday night, broken keyboard, heavy rain outside, confuse.

Labels: debating, self-respect, stupid